And So It Goes
by Kellie Mclean
Summary: WARNING! Slash, MM, DracoHarry, RATED R!
1. My Silence is My SelfDefense

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or setting, but the idea is mine. I mean no offense to J.K.Rowling, and if she would like me to remove this story, I certainly will.

Author's note:

1. I plan on updating with the next part tomorrow, 9/2/04

2. Don't steal my idea.

3. Review if you like it or have some constructive criticism.

4. If you are going to flame me, note that I ignore all flames. The reason I do is this: If you are reading this it is for one of two reasons... **First**, you like something in the idea or saw something in the summary that intrigued you, or **Second**, you are an idiot who doesn't read the summary. I note this as Slash, Male on Male, and Rated R. If you don't like those things, then why are you reading it?

And So It Goes

Part 1: My Silence is My Self-Defense

(c) 8/1/04

* * *

Draco opened his eyes slowly, letting the early morning light greet him. Stretching his arms over his head, he relaxed into the warmth of his bed. He remembered his last dream, right before he awoke, and smiled slightly. This dream had been replaying in his mind nightly for the last three months, every night getting a little cleared. It started quietly enough...

_Draco was sitting on one of the couches in the Slytherin Common Room. He was all alone in the room, staring into the fire, when all of a sudden, hands reached in front of him with a blindfold stretched between them. His dream self smiles and let the hands gently tie the blindfold around his head, plunging him into darkness. As soon as the blindfold was secure on his eyes, the hands left. There was a moment of silence, then with his darkness-enhanced hearing, footsteps. A hand touched his hand, caressing his fingers before gripping them and giving a little tug. Willingly, he stood and let the hands guide him. _

_For the next few minutes, they walked through the corridors, climbing stars and passing through numerous doors. Finally, they reached their destination. The hands put pressure on his shoulders, pushing him down to sit on a soft bed. The hands pushed him back against a pillow, rubbing his shoulders gently. A hoarse whisper called his name, and the hands fumbled at his clothes, opening them and pulling them off. Finally, when he lay nude on the bedspread, the only sound in the room was his breathing and the rustle of clothing being pulled from a body. He ached for the familiar feel of the body next to his, relished the thought of what would come next._

Now that Draco was back at Hogwarts, he waited anxiously to see whether the dream would come true. He stood up slowly, wanting to stay in bed but knowing he couldn't, to take care of the lingering evidence of his desire before he had to get to class.

* * *

_He ached for the familiar feel of the body next to his, relished the thought of what would come next. The voice was back, whispering his name, hoarse with desire. Draco's body shivered slightly, his nipples tightening slightly with the chill in the air. He spoke again, in a whisper meant only for Draco._

"_You want me. I can see your desire. I want you too." His voice caressed Draco like fingers trailing over his skin. "I love your body, my Draco. I love your pale skin, it absorbs light, it is so beautiful." A quiet laugh sent pleasure streaking down his spine. "I like that. My Draco. You're mine." One finger was drawn down Draco's jaw and he smiled._

"_Always." Draco's voice mingled with that of the other young man, certainly filling each syllable._

Draco opened his eyes to blinding sunlight.

"Always." He tasted the word on his tongue and smiled slightly, his body and heart told him the word was true. His mind wandered in circles, trying to remember if he'd heard that voice before. "I'm yours." He whispered into the still and silent room. "Whoever you are."

He shifted, sitting up and swinging his legs over the side of the bed. Draco lay his head in his hands. Thankful again that being a prefect gave him a room of his own, he whispered, "I've heard your voice before, I know I have. So who are you?" He struggled to put a face to the voice, struggled to figure himself out.

Glancing at the window, to the sun that was well above the horizon, he judged he didn't have much time before he'd have to be down in the front hall. Today was Halloween, and there was a visit to Hogsmeade scheduled for today.

Draco sauntered into the entrance hall, moving around the large group of students eagerly chattering about what they would do when they got to Hogsmeade. Draco hovered on the edge of the crowd as they got ready to leave, searching the voices that filled the air for any clue as to his dream man.

Later that day, Draco moved down the crowded street, avoiding meeting the eyes of anyone he passed. Clutching his cloak tightly around him, he moved toward the shrieking shack, hoping that by this time everyone would have visited and left, leaving him the solitude of the haunted house and it's grounds. He had some deep soul-searching to do.

* * *

"_Always." Draco's voice mingled with that of the other young man, certainly filling each syllable. His warm hand cupped Draco's chin and tilted his face into a kiss. As their tongues caressed each other, Draco reached up to the other boy, his hands carefully feeling the warm flesh above him. Draco wrapped his hands around the other boy and pulled him down to rest on top of the blond. Draco moaned as his erection was pressed against a length of thigh, as he felt the heat of his lover's erection against him. Draco slowly ran his hand down the body on top of him, settling the other boy comfortably between Draco's thighs._

Draco's body was aflame, aching with need when he woke. He had, somewhere along the way, fallen hopelessly in love with this boy who he'd only dreamed about. Sighing, he gripped his aching erection and brought himself to a shuddering climax in a few moments. This was becoming a morning ritual, and Draco wished that it could be a ritual with his love.

Later that day, Draco bundled himself as he walked down to Hagrid's cabin for the last Care of Magical Creatures lesson before Christmas break. He didn't really hear the chatter of the group of Slytherin's that bunched around him, but he did hear a low laugh behind him that caught his ear. He straightened suddenly and turned around, startling his fellow students, but only paid attention to the trio that was walking a little way behind him. Seeing his rival and his two sycophants, his mind raced, with one thought uppermost: _No, not one of them!_ For a moment, he stared at them, then he started away from his friends, pausing only to motion them to go to class. He circled wide of the Gryffindor trio and hurried back up to the castle.


	2. I will Share this Room with You

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or setting, but the idea is mine. I mean no offense to J.K.Rowling, and if she would like me to remove this story, I certainly will.

Author's note:

1. I plan on updating with the next part tomorrow, 9/3/04

2. Don't steal my idea.

3. Review if you like it or have some constructive criticism.

4. If you are going to flame me, note that I ignore all flames. The reason I do is this: If you are reading this it is for one of two reasons... **First**, you like something in the idea or saw something in the summary that intrigued you, or **Second**, you are an idiot who doesn't read the summary. I note this as Slash, Male on Male, and Rated R. If you don't like those things, then why are you reading it?

And So It Goes

I will Share this Room with You

(c) 8/1/04

* * *

_Draco slowly ran his hand down the body on top of him, settling the other boy comfortably between Draco's thighs. As he relaxed, the urgency of their hands dissipated in the warmth of their love. Draco's whisper seemed loud in the quiet room. "Make love to me."_

Draco's eyes snapped open and he sat up suddenly. The bright sun streaming through the windows in the hospital wing made his eyes smart, but he didn't close them, fearing to remember the heat and desire that permeated his dreams.

Dropping his head to his hands, he thought furiously about what he had dreamt. He hadn't meant to fall asleep, but Madame Pomfrey had given him a draft of some potion to ease his pain, and it had dropped him to sleep almost immediately. Earlier, after skiving off class, he had gone back to his room, but when his fellow students returned to the common room, he had begged off doing anything, pleading a stomach ache to get his 'friends' to leave him alone.

Now, it was late afternoon, and he would have to go back to the common room soon. He glanced around quickly, noticing Madame Pomfrey at the far end of the room hovering over a still form in the last bed. Shaking his head, he started to get dressed. As he put his hands on his robe, he remembered the laugh he had heard. Slowly, he sat back down on the bed.

That laugh. That laugh had haunted him until today, and now? Now he would have to pretend nothing had happened, because the person who had laughed, or rather, the person he thought had laughed was none other than Harry Potter, his rival. How could he face him? How could he face him with these dreams wreaking havoc with his mind?

"I'm in love with you. I can't believe it. I'm in love with Harry Potter." He hadn't realized he had spoken at first, but before his whisper died in his ears, he grabbed his robe and started running.

Out of breath, Draco slowed. He had run until his vision was blurry, run until he had reached the far side of the lake. Dropping to the ground, he almost let tears fall before tightening his gut and forcing them back. "I will not cry! Crying is for wusses!" He shouted these words at himself, trying to prevent the inevitable. As one tear, then another dripped down the side of his face, he turned his face into a tree and let the tears come. Harry would never care for him, could never. Harry was too good, hated him too much.

Draco would never tell him, it would only be humiliation. _But_, a persistent voice reminded him, _if Harry's so good, why wouldn't he give you a chance to prove that you've changed?

* * *

_

_Draco's whisper seemed loud in the quiet room. "Make love to me."_

_There was a long pause and a startled intake of breath. Draco cringed inside, old fears cropping up that this boy wouldn't want to... wouldn't want him. When he spoke, there was warmth in his voice, warmth that reached into Draco and eased the ache of fear. "Do you mean it, my love?"_

_When the weight of the boy shifted off him and gentle hands began working the blindfold loose, Draco was almost surprised. When green eyes met grey, Draco reached up and cupped a hand around the back of the boy's neck. When Harry's lips turned up in a smile, Draco pulled them down to his own._

_He only captured Harry's lips for a moment, before pulling away to whisper, "I'm sure, I mean it. I love you."_

_Harry smiled at Draco and leaned down to kiss him with a tender passion._

Draco shifted, waking up. Now he didn't fight it, he knew. Since Christmas break, he hadn't said two words to Harry or his friends. These days, he was earning dirty looks from his fellow house-mates. He heard the speculation, that he had lost his fangs, but he couldn't bring himself to care. Today, though, was the Valentine's Day trip to Hogsmeade, and today he would make his move.

Just after noon, he watched Weasley and Granger walk into Madam Puddifoot's together before turning and moving toward the Shrieking Shack. It seemed that since the end of the third year, Harry went there a lot to think. Draco was sure he would be there now, while his two friends were on a date together.

Sure enough, Harry was sitting on a large rock in a clearing near the gate. He didn't seem to have heard Draco's approach, so he stopped some way away from Harry. The last thing he wanted was to surprise Harry and get hexed. Clearing his throat, he waited for Harry to turn around.

After a moment, Harry turned, seemingly unsurprised at who was standing in the shadows behind him. "What do you want, Malfoy?" His voice was calm, not filled with malice as it had been every other time he spoke to the blond.

"I want to talk."

"Talk? Yeah, okay. What about?" Harry didn't motion him closer, but Draco moved toward the other boy anyway.

"I want to say something to you. I'm not quite sure how to say this, but I need to get it out. Please do me the courtesy of not interrupting me?" Draco gingerly sat down on the rock across from Harry, watching him closely.

Harry nodded, and Draco continued, clearing his throat again. "I... I have changed, Harry. I'm not the same person who I have been. I've grown up, and I've... well, I have changed a lot. I would like to be friends with you." He looked down at the rock, his finger tracing a crack in the stone. "I've... well, you see, I've fallen in love with someone, and it's changed my perspective on a lot of things. This person is... a Gryffindor. I just... I want to change, be better, so that this person might look at me and see someone else. I don't want to be known as the spoiled prince of Slytherin anymore. I want to be known as Draco. Just Draco." Risking a glance at the boy in front of him, he saw only a gentle curiosity encouraging him to talk.

After a long pause, Draco started talking to Harry about his home life, how he was raised by a distant father and insane mother. He rambled on, explaining why he had acted the part of the perfect Death-Eater. For about half an hour, he spoke of his family and their expectations for him, skirting any clues about the identity of the person he was in love with. Harry let him talk, not interrupting him and looking interested and encouraging him whenever Draco risked glancing at him.

At the end of that time, after Draco went silent for almost five minutes, Harry finally spoke. "Well, Draco, I wouldn't mind trying friendship this time around, but if I'm going to be a good nosy friend and help you get the girl, I'll have to know who she is."

Draco could hear the smile in Harry's voice and he looked up, into the green eyes that he saw in his dreams. "Guy. It's a guy I'm in love with." He bit the inside of his cheek, hoping against hope that Harry wouldn't be homophobic.

Harry waved his hand, dismissing Draco's words. "Well, then, I can't help until I know who he is, can I?"

Draco smiled, a rare happening, and blinding in it's intensity. "I can't say, not yet. I'm... rather embarrassed."

Harry grinned, remembering the times he was embarrassed by wanting someone. "Yeah, okay. Well, hey, we should get back, Ron and Hermione will be done with their lunch soon." He paused, thoughtful, and looked hard at Draco. "Do you think you will be okay with them now? Not insulting them and all? It would be a lot easier to be friends with you if you were easy with them, too." Without Harry's voicing it, the word 'Mudblood' hung in the air between them.

Draco thought for only a moment before acceding. "Yeah, I'll try. I may slip sometime, occasionally call one of them by their last names, but I won't deliberately insult either of them."

"That's all I can ask."

Harry waited for Draco to stand and stretch before heading back to Hogsmeade.

* * *

Thanks to the following reviewers...

DemonRogue13: Thanks, I'm going to post the nest part tomorrow.

Swiftrunner: Thanks, May I ask, what you think is passive about it? (Sorry, I love love love constructive criticism and finding out what people think about my stories.)

SpunkySlytherin: Thanks! I'm so glad you're putting me on your alert list!

Ozumasgirl: Thank you for your kind words. I certainly will continue!


	3. In Every Heart There is a Room

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or setting, but the idea is mine. I mean no offense to J.K.Rowling, and if she would like me to remove this story, I certainly will.

Author's note:

1. I plan on updating with the next part **Thursday, 9/9/04**

2. Don't steal my idea.

3. Review if you like it or have some constructive criticism.

4. If you are going to flame me, note that I ignore all flames. The reason I do is this: If you are reading this it is for one of two reasons... **First**, you like something in the idea or saw something in the summary that intrigued you, or **Second**, you are an idiot who doesn't read the summary. I note this as Slash, Male on Male, and Rated R. If you don't like those things, then why are you reading it?

**(Oh, and by the way: I am SO sorry. I know I was going to update before.... winces Don't be mad...)**

And So It Goes

In Every Heart there is a Room

(c) 8/1/04

* * *

_Harry smiled at Draco and leaned down to kiss him with a tender passion. As they kissed, Harry's hands ran down Draco's sides until they were gripping his hips. Harry broke the kiss as Draco thrust up against him, and laid his forehead against the blond's shoulder. "I want you, so much." Harry mumbled against his shoulder and bestowed little love bites along his collarbone, inflaming Draco with desire._

Draco almost groaned when he woke. _If only I could fast forward the dream._ His hand found the evidence of his need and stroked, relieving his body's tension after only a moment. For a few minutes he lay, relaxing after his orgasm, then he cleaned up and got ready for the day. It had only been two days since he had confessed almost everything to the man of his dreams. It was a Sunday, and the four of them, Harry, Ron, Hermione and himself were going down to the Quidditch pitch so they could practice.

Draco hurried out of the castle early. He was supposed to meet them there, but he wanted to be early, already in the air, when they showed up. He grabbed his broom from the Slytherin locker room and took to the air, reveling in the freedom the broom gave him.

Soaring high above the pitch, he saw movement below and realized he had been flying for quite a while. Harry and his friends had shown up and were bringing the balls out onto the field. Sighing, he headed down to meet them, steeling himself to be friendly to Ron.

Despite the many times he had insulted her, Hermione was making a good effort to look past that and fairly civil to him. Ron, however, it seemed like nothing he could ever do would change his mind. He was as stubborn as the rest of the Weasley clan, and Draco had tried. He had gone out of his way to be friendly to Ron, and all he got in return was the cold shoulder.

Ron was still not as confidant a Keeper than Oliver Wood had been, so Harry thought that practice would be good. Roping Hermione and Draco to help them practice had been a stroke of genius. Harry knew that Ron didn't like and didn't want to accept his growing friendship with the Slytherin, but he would have to get used to it.

As Draco landed lightly near the trio, Harry directed everyone up onto their brooms. Even though Harry hadn't been allowed to play Quiddich since his fifth year, he still helped Ron practice and encouraged Ginny, who had taken over his place as Seeker for the Gryffindor team. Letting the Snitch go, Harry also climbed onto his broom. When Hermione called the Quaffle to her with a charm, the game was on. After some minor confusion where it was three against Ron, Draco and Harry settled to one team, and Ron and Hermione on the other. Since they weren't playing with Bludgers, the game was a lot easier to play.

After a long few hours playing, the four landed and started packing up. Walking back to the castle, Ron smiled at Draco for a moment before he realized what he was doing and scowled. Draco was elated. This was the way to win Ron over to be a friend - playing quidditch! Of course, if Draco had realized how much fun it was to play with these three, he might have tried to befriend them earlier.

* * *

_Harry mumbled against his shoulder and bestowed little love bites along his collarbone, inflaming Draco with desire. Draco moved his hand betwwen them and carefully touched his lover. His hand gripping the other boy was tentative and shy at first, then as need claimed him, he gripped harder, carressing Harry with an urgency that surprised him._

Draco bit the fleshy part of his palm when he came, not wanting to make any noise to give himself away. Despite having his own room, he had forgotten to put an impervious charm around the room, and he didn't want the other members of his house to know what he did when he woke, or who he thought about.

Draco cleaned up quickly, wanting to get out to meet Harry by the lake. It was a Saturday, and Harry had told him he had something to show him. This was new. Draco had known he was trying to be friends, but the dark haired boy hadn't really opened up. Now, Draco had the feeling that there was something big lurking under the calm façade of the boy he was in love with.

When he saw Harry sitting on a rocky point, he didn't speak or moved closer at first. Harry was sitting still, looking off across the lake toward a point on the far shore. He looked to be lost in his thoughts, so Draco cleared his throat before approaching the still boy.

"Harry?" He spoke softly, jolting the other out of his reverie.

"Do you know what happened here? At this very spot?" Harry's voice was thick, as though he had been crying. "I saved Sirius from the dementors. They almost got me, but I saved his life." Naw Harry did start crying softly, letting the dears fall without any of the dramatics that girls seemed to use. "And over there..." His arm raised, following his line of sight to the opposite shore. "Over there, that's where I was standing, that's where I sent the Patronus from, to save myself and Sirius."

Draco almost gasped when he realized who Harry was talking about. He was talking about Sirius Black, the murderer who had spent time in Azkaban for killing Harry's parents. And yet, here was Harry, crying. _Is he crying because he saved the murderer's life?_

"I miss him, you see. He was my Godfather, and I got him killed." Harry turned to Draco now, and the blond boy could see the anguish in his eyes.

Draco held out his arms to Harry, enfolding him in a hug. He whispered into Harry's hair, "Tell me." So Harry did.

* * *

Thanks to my wonderful reviewers...

**Kvun:** I try to update each working day, but I only have access to a computer at work, and now that the boss is back in town, posting might be slower.

**Swiftrunner:** Thank you for your explanation, and for your praise. It means a lot to me that people like my ideas and the way I write. Thank you.

**Swtdreams07:** I do try, and thank you.

**IndianaJones17:** Thank you, I'm glad you like it, but I'm afraid my brain and fingers only work so fast to update.

**Zoomaphonethepirate:** Thanks, I'm glad you like it.

**MirokuPlushie:** I'm glad you love it! I'll give you a hint... yes. And I will try to update quickly, but it might slow down to every other work day unless the boss goes out of town again.

**EllieHope:** Don't worry, I don't plan on stopping any time soon.

**Ozumasgirl:** Y'know, I had written this story in my notebook, but when I started to write it on the computer, it grew and changed. In the other version (almost a whole other story now), Ron was okay with it. In this one he's more stubborn. Who knows, sometimes the writer doesn't even know what's going to happen.

**Lol-lol-lol-lol:** If you'd like, you can put me on your author alert list, and that way you get an email every time I update.

**Silentauror:** Thank you, your praise means a lot to me.

**Yana5:** Thank you

**Kuroneko89:** Thank you. In answer, not yet, but you sparked an idea for how Draco might tell Harry he loves him... Hmmm... We'll have to wait and see!

**RootbeerFloat:** Oh, I think that even if I do end this story, I have a number of ideas floating around in my brain, so you may see a lot more...

**USAcat:** Thank you so much. I will try to get some more dream sequences, and maybe some waking life in there, but forgive me, it might take a little while.

Thank you, everyone.


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